I procrastinate a lot in uni. I was not like this when I was in high school.
When I was in high school, I was this nerd who couldn't even curse in Malay. I mean, I can say 'fuck' and the rest of its associates.. but I couldn't spit the word 'pukimak' out of my mouth because it felt so wrong hahaha. I couldn't even say 'tetek' because it sounded so disturbing? But hey now I can! I had this belief that cursing in Malay is really on an another level compared to English.
I was that one friend who was so innocent in the sense that everything my friends said, I believed them. Or should I say, lurus bendul. I was so sensitive that every time I got angry, I cried. These days, if something pisses me off, I get even angrier. Sometimes when I stand up boldly, they misunderstood my confidence with rudeness.
I often get this notion a lot, "I miss the old you".
When I hear the same thing all over again like a broken record, of course I am offended. I like me now. I liked the way I was too, didn't you?
Is it the way I pick my outfit? Is it because I put on some colors on my face? How does my 'transition' changes the way I treat people? Funny how they are all the same people who constantly told me to grow up. I was not like everything I am today 4 years ago, thanks to you. Is it because I prioritize myself first, that people started to feel a huge gap when they are around me?
PSA, people changes.
I used to write every single thing on this platform. All of my happy moments, I buried them here because keeping a physical diary is such a hassle. Come to think of it, when was the last time I penned down my adventure here? Truth hurts. I only visit here when I need someone to talk to. Now I no longer fear the world, have I started taking everything for granted?
Is change a good thing? Should I feel sorry about it?
I honestly do not know, too.